


Dear Percy

by therantothea



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-30
Updated: 2013-01-30
Packaged: 2017-11-27 13:14:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/662399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therantothea/pseuds/therantothea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dear Percy, I'll kill you soon. Your enemy, Luke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Percy

**UNPUBLISHED LETTERS**

* * *

**Date: 6/ 15/ 2011**

**File type: Unpublished Letters**

**Classification: Top Secret**

**Location: Percy Jackson's sock drawer.**

**A secret correspondence between Luke, Son of Hermes, and Percy, Son of Poseidon.**

* * *

Dear Percy,

How's life at CampHalf-Blood? I hope you're very miserable. I didn't try to kill you how many times just for nothing, you know.

Life with Kronos isn't all that it's cracked up to be. The pay is lousy—non-existent—and I think Kronos is just using me. All the same, I would do anything to get back at my sorry excuse for a father. Even if I have to give myself to Kronos.

The thing I like most about this side of the war is that I'm allowed to kill anyone I want. Just the other day, I tortured this little boy to death. You should have been there. You would have been horrified at his screams. But, since you missed it, I'm sending you a souvenir. I hope you enjoy it.

Please inform Chiron that I soon plan on taking over the Camp on Kronos' behalf and killing anyone that stands in out way.

Continue hating me.

Your enemy,  
Luke

P.S. Annabeth is mine.

* * *

Luke,

Why in the name of the Underworld are you writing me? Isn't it bad enough that you betrayed the camp? So many people died and suffered because of you. What's the point of this?

You only realized  _now_  that Kronos is using you? How stupid can you get?

Chiron is asking if you ever plan to come back. He says that if you do, you'll be stuck on kitchen duty for a century. He also says that he'll tell Hades to let you live long enough to complete your punishment.

I will continue hating you.

Percy

P.S. You sick freak. What the heck am I going to do with some little boy's eyeball?

P.S.2 Annabeth can chose who she wants to be with. And it sure as hell won't be you.

* * *

Dear Percy,

Good boy, hate me enough to kill me.

I do plan on coming back, but only as your conqueror. Kronos says that once we take over the Camp, you'll be stuck on kitchen duty and he'll make you do it for ten thousand years.

Oh, and we're looking for you. We want you dead before you turn sixteen. Do us all a favour and kill yourself, will you? It will save us all the trouble.

Well, I must be off. Killing, maiming, and torturing. The usual. Hate me more with each passing day. I hope you reply soon.

Your enemy,  
Luke

P.S. I was thinking you could set the eyeball in some jewellery. Many of the boys your age wear those gothic piercings, do they not?

* * *

Luke,

I DON'T WEAR JEWELLRY! Maybe you do, but I don't.

Watch your back, Luke. One day, I  _will_  kill you.

Percy

* * *

Dear Percy,

I'm sorry I haven't been keeping up our correspondence. I have a Titan war to prepare for. I'm going to be a leader. What are you going to be on your side? The head of the cheering squad? You can make a water show.

I'm sorry, but I'm a little to busy to write more for someone as insignificant as you. Maybe next time.

Your enemy,  
Luke

* * *

Luke,

I'm not good enough for a longer response? Well, fine, you're not worth my time either.

How's that for a short response?

Percy

* * *

Dear Percy,

Don't take it personally. You should be proud I'm even writing to you. I never wrote letters to any one, not even my mother. You can guess why.

We have thousands of new monster and godly recruits, with more and more coming each day. How many recruits do you have? Ten?

I got a new half-blood recruit last week. I think you know him? His name is Ethan Nakamura. He's the son of some minor goddess. He reminds me of a pirate because of the way he scowls and his eye-patch. He has only one eye. No, it's not the one I sent you. I didn't take out Ethan's eye. I think he did it to himself. Weirdo.

Write quickly,  
Luke

* * *

Luke,

Congratulations on the new recruits. They're monsters? I hope they eat you.

Percy

* * *

Dear Percy,

Are you still mad about the short response thing? Way to hold a grudge, dude. You're such a sore loser.

The monsters said that they'd rather have you.

Oh, and Kronos let a little something slip the other day. Apparently, your real name isn't Perseus. It's Myrtle.

Your enemy,  
Luke

* * *

Luke,

Don't call me that! My mom thought I was a girl at first, okay?

I can guess that the reason you don't write to your mother is because she doesn't love you enough to send you a letter.

Percy

* * *

Dear Percy-I mean Myrtle,

We're going to meet soon. Kronos wants you to bring a couple of drachmas for the boatman's fare in the Underworld, so he doesn't have to pay for it himself. Personally, I think he's going bankrupt because he has to pay for his own coffin, and it's made out of solid gold. I told him he could jut steal one, but he doesn't want to use someone else's coffin. Apparently, it's unsanitary.

Anyway, I look forward to seeing you soon.

Our letters are getting shorter, don't you notice?

Your enemy,  
Luke

* * *

Luke,

This letter is soaked in non-contact poison. All you need to do is open the envelope, and you will die.

Beat that, asshole.

Percy

* * *

Dear MYRTLE,

Unfortunately, Ethan decided to look through my letters. He opened your last one and died. I'm a bit annoyed, because he's one of the few half-bloods here, and now I have no one to talk to. The standards of Camp Half-Blood have really lowered, if one of their so-called best campers plays dirty and soaks a friendly correspondence in non-contact poison.

I'll kill you soon,  
Luke

 


End file.
